So true. Also, any true-to-life sex story must contain awkward moments or it's not true to life--or not to MY life, at any rate. This goes double (see what I did there) when more than two partners are involved. In a scenario like that, if the narrator doesn't get accidentally elbowed in the ribs, find themselves occupying a tiny sliver of bed space, or fail at some position that looks effortless in porn, all the while experiencing personal doubts in several key areas, I am skeptical.
kind of a corollary concern - why are so many 'good' authors bad at writing sex? I went through a big haruki murakami phase, but even when I loved his schtick I had to skim some of the sex scenes because they were so cringey. I feel like this is more common than not.
1. The USA's always been very puritanical, at least relative to Europe. Even now European movies are famously much sexier.
2. Nowadays men can't write about sex at all unless they're gay. You'd never see Henry Miller or Philip Roth now.
3. Writers tend to be relatively cerebral, and sex is very physical. As this article says the physical is not *everything*, but a lot of people enjoy having sex without much going on upstairs. (Animals seem to enjoy themselves at it.) Kink may be the exception, actually--intellectuals seem to have a huge taste for it, maybe as kind of a yin-yang thing. (I could give examples, but I'm new here and have no desire to go excessively prurient right out the gate.)
So true. Also, any true-to-life sex story must contain awkward moments or it's not true to life--or not to MY life, at any rate. This goes double (see what I did there) when more than two partners are involved. In a scenario like that, if the narrator doesn't get accidentally elbowed in the ribs, find themselves occupying a tiny sliver of bed space, or fail at some position that looks effortless in porn, all the while experiencing personal doubts in several key areas, I am skeptical.
💯 all of this
Thanks Shawn!
The best sex writing is the I/ thou encounter. The mere meeting of two souls is the sexiest encounter ever.
It doesn't need the sweat and the sighs, the groans and the gasps. Leave these to the imagination.
Just let two people recognise they are not alone in an indifferent universe. That they have found each other.
I was just pondering a post about I/Thou and Martin Buber, Francis. Thanks for writing this comment.
kind of a corollary concern - why are so many 'good' authors bad at writing sex? I went through a big haruki murakami phase, but even when I loved his schtick I had to skim some of the sex scenes because they were so cringey. I feel like this is more common than not.
This is why Literary Review holds a Bad Sex in Fiction award and some of the scenes written by otherwise talented writers are hilarious. https://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/books/features/bad-sex-awards-fiction-worst-best-ever-shortlist-winners-best-literary-review-morrissey-a8664331.html
I can’t wait to read this, Daniela
1. The USA's always been very puritanical, at least relative to Europe. Even now European movies are famously much sexier.
2. Nowadays men can't write about sex at all unless they're gay. You'd never see Henry Miller or Philip Roth now.
3. Writers tend to be relatively cerebral, and sex is very physical. As this article says the physical is not *everything*, but a lot of people enjoy having sex without much going on upstairs. (Animals seem to enjoy themselves at it.) Kink may be the exception, actually--intellectuals seem to have a huge taste for it, maybe as kind of a yin-yang thing. (I could give examples, but I'm new here and have no desire to go excessively prurient right out the gate.)
I’ve always liked the Henry Miller approach. “John fucked Sally. Then Sally fucked Jim.”
Before dictation software it was impossible to have good sex writing.